My last posting was at the tail end of January...and it is the beginning of May. So many things have happened in the last couple months. A part of me wants to share everything, and the other multitude of parts say to keep them to myself. However, I've always been a writer, so I figure a little expression of verbatum is tolerable.
I'm sure many of you are aware, Jeff and I are divorced. I received a surprisingly large amount of negative feedback. More than I ever expected. All I will say to those who attacked me is that you will never know what honestly happened between the two of us. I learned a valuable lesson (among many) throughout this process...no one should be allowed to make me feel guilty for pursuing happiness. Those of you who realize both Jeff and I deserved happiness and supported our decision (even through dismay or confusion)- all I can say is thank you. Thank you for being there for the both of us. It is the true definition of friendship. I know for the people I consider friends, I never judge or cast stones. I love and accept. I may not always agree or may sometimes feel disappointment or anger, but I still love and accept my friends and family for who they are. Remember that with your own loved ones. I also want to apologize to those who are close to me who I kept my feelings silent to. It is a self-preservation thing I learned from my parents and utilized in my childhood. In the future, I'm not going to be the peacemaker all the time.
Other than that, there's music and fitness. I am still in studio working on the forthcoming album. I played my first show on April 22nd - and it was an odd sensation...being back in that scenario. I look forward to more club shows...maybe less bars. Haha.
Fitness...hmph. I gained 30 lbs. through the last year. Unhappy stress pounds. I am working to lose them. Fortunately, I know how to do so (I'm an expert at it!) but it will take some time. I made a goal to lose it by the Chequamegon 40 in September.
I did run my marathon that I was training for. Funnily enough, I completely STOPPED running from February until about a week before the marathon. So, I was severely undertrained. But, my stubborn head said do or die...so I did. I finished. Even though a one-legged lady in a wheelchair towing a dog on a leash beat me, I still feel immensely proud. Go me.
Next up, the Chequamegon 100. 100 miles of singletrack. I am super worried something will happen or I will burn out too quick. I am hoping I remember endurance, not speed. Focus, not fly. This is a marathon, not a sprint! Pray for me! Wish me luck!
Lastly, I want to introduce you all to Chad. Chad has been amazing ever since we met. I'm not going to entertain rumors or defend anything in relation the situation...those who know me know. Most importantly, he is good to me. He treats me with respect. He has no expectation of me other than what I am. He is a wonderful man, and I feel love for him that I never could fathom before. A girlfriend of mine called it mature love. I think she is right.
So that's me. I now work full-time in Stillwater, and I drive a cute little Pontiac Vibe (vroom vroom!). I am okay. I am happy. I'm still biking. And I am still writing music.
How are you?
